Dear Comedy Diary

Dear Comedy Diary

Let me start by saying that you’re not a weed-induced spur-of-the-moment idea. I like you. I think you’re great. Neither of us do this sort of thing on the very first night, and I’ll definitely call you tomorrow. I totally wanna listen to all of your stories about working at the Gap.

Now let’s dive into the bed of lessons and take the pants off of what I have learned lately -

1. Holy crap, there are some people who don’t think I’m funny.

I’m completely unfazed, really. The summer weight gain is

My assistant taking a nap.

a complete coincidence, and the security guard totally doctored the tape to make it LOOK like I’m crying in the men’s washroom after a show.

2. Some people find me funny. I don’t care much about them, it’s those other people I must hunt down and force to love me.

3. Calling myself a comedian is a great way to spend a stoned afternoon on the balcony with the dog and maryjane and tell people I’m working. Feels productive, mayne.

4. I tell some girls I’m a comic and other girls about my day job. There is virtually no difference in the ferocity of their slaps. There must be some other common denominator at play.

5. There are some criminally under-appreciated comic geniuses in the city. People should do more to support local talent, like promote them by name on blogs.

6. There’s a lot of drinking involved. Nice.

7. And some pot too, if you play at the right venues.

8. Keeping focused on something outside of work is a great way to work on personal discipline, refine various support skills such as writing and creative thought, meet new people and be more productive with your spare time.

Totally not facebooking

That was great. I’m feeling sleepy now. No need to call the cab sweetheart, what kind of guy do you think I am?

There is a bus that runs every half hour. Here’s a token.