Thanks For Getting Me Laid

Getting laid is a team sport, and I’d like to thank everyone involved in keeping my sex life active & fulfilling. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t get a third of the… Continue reading

“Man I love your rape joke”

“I love your rape joke, why’d you stop telling it?” “You pussy out or something?” Let’s make one thing clear – I have exactly ONE joke utilizing the word “rape”, and the butt… Continue reading

Daniel Tosh Made A Rape Joke?

Dissent Is Not Unpatriotic Dummy

Why do people think protesting means you hate your country? More and more you hear the argument “if you don’t like it here you should live somewhere else” targeted specifically at protestors. It… Continue reading

“Indie Artists Can Suck It” – Facebook’s New Fan Page Rules

Facebook Fan Pages are now essentially another form of targeted paid advertising. If you’re a fan of Stone Temple Pilots you probably”Liked” their Fanpage as I did. Ideally you’d like to keep abreast… Continue reading

Making Jokes At America’s Expense Is Almost Too Easy

But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop anytime soon.  

Counterculture Signage And Other Smart Pics

A picture is worth a thousand words. But sometimes it only needs 30 or so and maybe a cute girl with a poignant sign. Below is a collection of my favourite counterculture imagery. Part… Continue reading

ORGANIZED CRIME

The state has a monopoly on violence. The state has a monopoly on violence. The state has a monopoly on violence.

How George Michael Cured My Homophobia

I really need to get this off my chest before the man drops dead and I’m accused of pandering to a dead celeb. Between the ages of roughly 15-17, I was a bonafide… Continue reading

3 Steps To First Date Success

Problem: First dates are Fucking Awkward. Solution: KEEP MOVING The easiest remedy for awkward first date conversation is to constantly be on the move. What that means is you shouldn’t limit your date… Continue reading

Consequences of Bill C-30: In Layman’s Terms

This is an update to the previous post, at which time this rant was against Bill C-10. Ask yourselves: why are they pushing so hard so often to pass a surveillance law? When you… Continue reading

Adele VS The Thing That Must Not Live

So this happened. The same week that fashion heavyweight and real-life featherweight Karl Lagerfeld derided Adele’s weight, I discovered the world’s thinnest “model”, Ioana Spangenberg. This is literally the best picture I could… Continue reading

Weight Watchers Online

ORIGINAL CONTENT

Baby Boomers – Are They Dead Yet?

AKA: Trickle Down Theory And Other Fairy Tales “When I was your age, I *worked* and *saved* for school, a home and a jacuzzi. You lot are spoiled and lazy. Get a job… Continue reading

Resist Bill C-10: SelfPics4Justice

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that Stephen Harper’s BILL C-10 is going to pass. But that doesn’t meant I can’t be a dick about it. Aside from building superjails and enacting a… Continue reading

How To Be Productive

———————————————————————————————- Step 1: Close Facebook. Step 2: Seriously, close Facebook.

You Know You Live In A Dystopia When…

Here’s my shortlist of totalitarian concepts that are in practice today: Corporate Superpowers (Jennifer Government, Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep, WALL-E, Robocop, Soylent Green) – In these classics, extensive privatization and corporatism,… Continue reading

SOPA – Why America Should Not Be In Charge Of Shit Anymore

Fucking motherfuckers. Here’s comes SOPA, about to break the internet. The Stop Online Piracy Act will block LEGAL sites for a few infringing links, EVEN IF IT WAS USER POSTED CONTENT. So, if… Continue reading

Kevin O’Leary Is A Massive Tool – A Brief Treatise On Class Warfare

In case you haven’t heard, or live in Bumfuck Nowhere, the Toronto chapter of the Occupy movement begins on Saturday October 15, the aptly named Occupy Toronto, ready to set up camp on… Continue reading

Dear Comedy Diary

Dear Comedy Diary Let me start by saying that you’re not a weed-induced spur-of-the-moment idea. I like you. I think you’re great. Neither of us do this sort of thing on the very… Continue reading

Wish You Were (still) Here

We are so jaded that we’re never surprised to hear about a politician caught for lying, embezzling or secretly paying gay prostitutes for buttsecks and meth. That’s politics you say. It’s show-business for… Continue reading

Marijuana Law Amendment #1

Old Fight, New Counter I propose that every candidate for every leadership position in any branch and at the highest level of government be subject to a minimum pot-smoking criteria of 12 joints… Continue reading

In Defence of Digital Life

Documenting your life is cathartic. To those who sneer at the pathological chronicling of every step of daily life – be it meaningless status updates about breakfast, an endless barrage of self portraits… Continue reading

We Killed Amy Winehouse

The big fat Greek question remains – If you are the bodyguard walking into her room on a Saturday afternoon, how can you be sure that  the stench of death and vodka and… Continue reading

Nice Guys Are Sexually Manipulative Too

Stemming from a recent conversation – Girl – so I’m having brunch with my ex’s best friend this weekend.. Me – oh snap! Good way to get back at your ex. Her –… Continue reading

A Victory for Atheism?

The war of religous ideologies is reaching it’s tipping point in the era of Robotics. There’s growing evidence that we can teach machines to not only be human, but be better at being… Continue reading

Musings of a Beautifulpeople Reject

If I was a member, you would’ve been spared this rant. If you haven’t heard, beautifulpeople dot com dumped 30,000 members who were admitted because of a virus; people who otherwise wouldn’t have… Continue reading

Harper explains: cutbacks to women

Harper explains: cutbacks to women

Remember that speech?

Meanwhile In Canada

I went to get a glass of water, and when I got back the view from my balcony had completely changed.

Gun Control Does Not Work

Please think clearly. Gun control laws DO NOT affect gun-related crimes. Mental health programs do, anti-bullying programs do. Even a weekly game of soccer for troubled & disenfrachised youth goes a long way… Continue reading

Obamacare

My first foray into memes. Please be gentle.